Monday, 15 August 2011

To Friends ..........................

How much thought have you ever given to the simple word FRIEND?

For many reasons, I have been giving it a lot of thought recently. Maybe because we lived in Sydney and Yokohama year, and we were lucky to meet people thru MissM at her ‘Sydney school’; maybe because a few friendships here have changed somewhat, or maybe because we are about to move onto another Adventure and there are new friends we haven’t met yet (love this line from a Barbie movie, of all places).

For ms.havachats chat today, I would like to start by defining the word Friend for my sake as much as yours.

·      Someone emotionally close
·      A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard
·      Somebody who thinks well of, or is on good terms with somebody else
Other words that can be used to describe FRIEND (noun)
·      Pal – friend, mate, chum, companion, buddy, crony
·      Buddy – friend, pal, playmate, companion, partner, chum
·      Companion – friend, buddy, cohort
·      Acquaintance – associate, friend, contact, social contact, colleague,
·      Comrade – friend buddy, pal, companion
·      Ally – friend, helper, supporter, assistant, partner, collaborator

AH!!!!!!!! Maybe that’s what’s confusing  - there are many types of ‘friends’. So maybe the issue is how we use the word FRIEND.  Are we using the correct word for the relationship we are describing? Maybe our, or more to the point my expectations of friends is different? Not everyone is ‘emotionally close’ for goodness sakes hehehe

Facebook is a good place to start because we can all relate to the fact that not everyone on our FB Friends list is infact a FRIEND (refer to definition). They are a wonderful network of friends, acquaintances and pals from every corner of one’s life. It’s funny to see some people with 1000+ friends.

Please don’t get me wrong! I LOVE my FB Network. It’s a huge benefit as we roam the world to be able to keep in touch with people. It’s fun to reconnect with ‘friends from the past’ or old work colleagues with whom a chapter of our lives is entwined. Or BF’s from pre-marriage/kids. But woe betide ex-partners finding us L

Are we glad for their news of babies, holidays, promotions, and exam results – yes? Do we send them sincere wishes when illness strikes, or they fall on hard times, of course!
Do we love to hear about holidays, see their photos? You bet.

As an expat, FB is INVAULABLE in keeping friends close. I am so grateful for still being in touch with people in Sydney, Ireland and the girls who have left Japan for new adventures.
Most importantly FB keeps me connected to my life long, FRIENDS – those we are and always will be emotionally tied to in Sydney close and up-to-date with what’s happening.

Totally going out on a limb here, and with respect to my FB network, I wonder why the ‘friendship link’ has been established with some people. We don’t go for coffee; we don’t spend time together yet we share on FB like ol’ mates. How many will delete me when we move?  Who will I delete? There’s no malice with this idea. Just putting it out there as a consideration of events to come.

So that’s the virtual world of friends. Or is it? Do you have to make room for new ones like you do in the real one?

The real world of friends. My late father used to say ‘you can count yourself very fortunate indeed if you have more then 5 true friends’. Give or take a few numbers, what do you think?

I’ve always been a good networker (hehehehe), moving in large circles tho has always had an inner circle of BF’s. I’m engrossed in reading Annie G Freemans Fabulous Travelling Funeral and it’s got me thinking even more about friendships – the BEST FRIENDSHIPS.
I love (yes, I do) and need my BF’s – they have saved me more times than I care to remember. They are there no matter what.

So based on Dad’s theory, I am truly blessed cos I have more than 5 BF’s, in several cities across the world that I know I can count on, and I hope they know they can count on me.

MsS wrote in my card when we left Dublin ‘don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened’

I think this sentiment sums up friendships, buddies, pals, acquaintances, and relationships really well.

People do come into our lives for a reason, and sometimes sadly they leave too, for no reason, they just seem to disappear from ones diary.

So FRIENDS the emotional ones – thank you.

For my buddies, pals, mates – thank you.

Maybe now I’ve chatted about this with you, albeit a one-way conversation, (feel free to post comments) I might rest easier knowing that no matter what, or where, I am sure to find at the very least a handful of friends to hang out with, share the good, bad and funny of life.

To old and new BF’s where ever you are THANK YOU!

As always,
With friendship


  1. We may be living worlds apart but your "Friends" will always be part of your world! Love your blog- keep it up. BAM

  2. Love this bella. My personal view of friendship for many years was that every one was a friend, until they proved they were not. It took many, many years for me to understand that others sort of had a system, one was at first an acquaintance, then a close acquaintance before possibly moving into the ranks of friend. But for some reason, there are people I only ever knew for a season that have always remained very dear to my heart, even if we did not socialise together, even if I knew very little about them whereas some of my 'best friends' from youth have disappeared from memory. Maybe that is the karmic aspect to friendship. Some people you learn life lessons from in an afternoon. Other people you know for decades, but never really know them, or they you. I'm glad to say that you were one of the first people I considered a friend when I moved to Sydney and I too am delighted to have opportunity through FB to stay in touch. XOX

    1. Feelings mutual Sammi :)

      Bobbi - so pleased our paths crossed, albeit for a short time in real time, but forever on FB