Saturday, 25 April 2015


Love this (not my pic)

This chat has been buzzing around my head for a while now. Every time I go to chat, I delete it thinking I have no right to be writing about this subject. I am not educated in either side of the debate, I have no depth of knowledge from the religious perspective. I have an opinion, sure and it's been shared with friends over coffee, but today when MissM asked me about the poster she saw on a pole, I had to find the words to explain it to her.

You see, Ireland is having a referendum on same-sex marriage. Tho from some of the posters in the community you'd think it was about parenting. You can only imagine the debate that's raged on the airwaves and in the media for BOTH sides.

Talk back radio aka shock jocks as we call them in Australia are having a field day! The insults were flying on talk back radio one night last week as I was driving home. He was voting no, and the language he used when referring to gay men was in such bad taste, I was actually yelling at the radio 'you ignorant person' 'what a foolish man' 'what did you say?'

Mind you, some of the YES campaigners have crossed the line when debating with opponents. But from what I've heard and read, the No group has been more badly behaved.

As a non-Irish citizen I can not vote, but if I could it would be a big fat YES in bold lettering, capitals and underlined.

In fact, to me and many others, it's a no brainer of a question - more to the point we ask WHY NOT?

No is an abhorrent thought - while yes might be too strong for some, but there's no middle ground. It has to be one or the other, so it has to be yes because no is cruel and unnecessary.

Consider the following social changes ....... depending on where you live, and religious beliefs, some of these issues still have a long way to go to equal rights between the genders.

  • Women are no longer the property of their husband.
  • Divorce - now legal.
  • Contraception - women taking control of their bodies.
  • Acceptance of interracial relationships.
  • Polygamy is illegal.
  • Young women are not hidden when pregnant and can keep their babies.
  • (I'm sure there are more, but I'm no expert)

A friend said her teenage girls will never go on the pill. When I asked why, she said very matter of factly because they won't have sex before marriage. Another friend is beside herself that her son and daughter-in-law are divorcing - apparently he has to make it work despite him explaining how unhappy he and his wife are even after 12 months of counselling. While years ago, a work colleague had the courage to leave her abusive partner and start over. A playgroup friend was in an arranged marriage and felt she was suffocating but had no choice to make it work, so she and her husband agreed to live 'separate lives' and when either family visited from overseas, then they would play happy families (can you imagine how confused the kids were)

Let's hope NOW IS THE TIME for the next evolution of change for social good.

The thought that people might actually vote no and cause this referendum to fail is unthinkable. How do we wake up the next day and face our friends and family who are in loving relationships? What happens to them? Even the word 'them' makes me cringe.

This is the poster that MissM asked about.  It's abhorrent and offensive and a rather basic approach to the argument. If this is all they have, maybe the no vote is thin.  I wonder if there's an official body who approves political posters, which this is. If so, where's the moral ground?

This poster, in my humble opinion is offensive and wrong.

Children deserve to be in a LOVING FAMILY environment full stop. There is no more to be said. Kids deserve to be loved and respected and well cared for.

For the vast majority, yes, family means a mum and dad and a couple of kids. But we know that family also means any combination of that statement. What about the incredible community of foster parents/families? Goodness knows how many grandparents or aunts/uncles have guardianship for younger members of their family.

When did voting for equal rights in marriage mean parenting? Is their argument against so underwhelming that they have to reduce themselves to this illogical propaganda?

What do kids think, who have single parents, be it because of divorce, or illness, or they have gay parents when they read these signs? Surely the No groups have a responsibility to the greater community?

In 1996 Hilary Clinton said it takes a village to raise a child and the world nodded in agreement. We started talking about communities again, and support for one another. We look out for our neighbours.

The people in the Dublin suburbs of Monkstown and Blackrock get it - let's hope their voices are heard far'n'wide.

Taken from the Yes Equality Blackrock/Monkstown
Facebook Page. (Typo and all)

Anyone who has a child/ren knows it takes more than a mum and a dad to raise a kid these days - there's aunties and uncles, cousins, friends, neighbours, teachers, coaches, peers and more to ensure our kids are happy, safe, well rounded, empathetic, kind, considerate, well balanced, nurtured.

My goodness, most of the time it's just the two of us raising our daughter, and let me tell you, there are times when I wish I had a villages supports. Parenting is tough going. The more help the better for everyone.

There are plenty of married couples who have totally f***** up their kids; and plenty of solo parents who raise terrific kids. So let's stop the labelling and start supporting.

Every single person in the world is absolutely deserved of being loved and if they choose, to be married to that person, the same way that in recent times, those who loved each other could live together without being married.

Same-sex marriage (gosh, even the terminology sux) does not threaten or challenge anyone else's marriage the same way that a friends rocky marriage or fantastic one does.

Society does change, it has to. Thank goodness it does! I love this quote from Cynthia Nixon.

There have been so many wrongs in the past that over time, with courage and vision change. And thank goodness for that! This moving statement is spot on - we don't NEED to do stuff, we just SHOULD DO IT. We do it cos it's right, cos no one is better than anyone else.

Add caption

YES to equality of love between human beings.

PS: MissM was pretty shocked that not everyone is legally allowed to be married (she said if you love someone and want to get married how can you be stopped?).  She thinks that kids do better with a mum and dad who are in love and love the kids, but if they stop loving each other it's best to stop fighting and get a divorce - the kids might not like it, but they'll get used to it. She then asked me about our friends who are single parents (does so-n-so have a husband cos you never mention them) and she smiled and said well their kid/s are fine!

No comments:

Post a Comment