Thursday, 23 August 2012

PS: I'm not alone

Imagine my surprise when one of my 'likes' on facebook, MAMAMIA posted an article that resonated with yesterdays blog.

Apparently it's normal to crave adult company. Tho the author of the article was referring to her time as a new mum with a bub, there were things in her article that I could relate to.

She wrote, "Like every second teenager, desperate to escape on a Friday night, to hang with their friends, gossip and giggle, free of the responsibilities (if you can call them that) of the week past, I craved the same thing."

After days on end of hanging out just with MissM, my desire for adult conversation with my peers is growing HOURLY. I can assure you, MissM is feeling the same way! She is so looking forward to school starting! A mother and daughter surely can't, or shouldn't spend this much time alone.

We were out with friends yesterday morning and had a super time. We were laughing and talking rather than ignoring each other and growling. The 6 day old giraffe at Marwell Zoo was delightful to watch, and we really enjoyed speaking with their keeper. 

This morning we had a few hours at a very old, tired aquarium (the website was very misleading) yet still managed to hold hands as we walked around the pathetic exhibits, we reminisced over lunch about Sydney Aquarium and the one in Chinatown, Yokohama when we lived in Japan. 

This proves we are good friends, and do get along well which warms my heart as i was starting to think we'd hit a wall and hormones (hers, not mine) haven't even kicked in!

The author goes on to admit something most of us are too scared to and that is " I could go out and drink coffee at my leisure, taking 5 minutes or 50 minutes, perhaps even ordering a second, or something on the side, and finishing every last drop while it was deliciously, tongue scorchingly hot. I wanted to do what I wanted not what needed to be done. I guess you could say that I wanted to put my needs first, something that doesn’t come easily for anyone wearing the mummy hat."

I have been an at home mum since MissM was born; since being an expat, I've been the primary carer in more ways than one, especially with the hours DH works from time to time. That being said, i have it easy compared to some friends - at least DH doesn't travel, and we've only one child. Still, in my world, it's been ages since i've done something for me - gosh does that sound as selfish and petty as i think it does?

One of my most BFF emailed and we sent comments back and forth for a while, and she said that in her opinion i have waited on MissM hand and foot since she was born and i am 'owed' personal time. It's an odd way to put it, but i get it.

I'm slowly working out my emotional roller coaster these past few weeks (months) are due to my perception of how busy, settled, connected I am feeling. All very valid and important issues, but is it due to the fact that I'm looking for an 'expat' experience that just ain't going to happen, or is it that I am possibly bored being an expat housewife, full time mum?

This is a new feeling as i was content and very busy in Japan - I was VP Events for the parents group at school; had a lovely circle of friends in the same situation as me (expat non working wife/mum), we had amazing neighbors, lots of visitors (still true here), and lots going on in terms of days out sight seeing. Sure, shopping was frustrating, being illiterate was a huge pain in the butt, the community while wonderful was so small there were times you could scream but it was lively, and busy and you felt connected.

The friend I was with yesterday reckons I'm frazzled simply because I'm so busy! She's exhausted listening to what we get up to. 

I love the difference in perception.

With friendship

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