Tuesday, 9 April 2013

Old Habits Give Way to New Habits

G was back at work yesterday after nearly two weeks on holidays.

He got home around 8pm, which as he said with a grin was earlier than the past few months.

He put MissM to bed, and they chatted for a few minutes about their respective days.

At 8.40pm we were still deciding on what to do with the salmon fillets I'd taken out of the freezer earlier that day to defrost for dinner, even tho I had planned to make teriyaki saki

At 9.10pm I thought OMG Cook the damn salmon!

We ate around 9.30pm.

He's just texted to say he's a 6pm meeting and suggested I eat with MissM and her friend who's sleeping over, rather than 'another late dinner' and he'll eat when he gets home.

The past two weeks have been NORMAL. We've cooked together (something we love to do) and eaten dinner as a family (MissM's been going to bed later than usual over the holidays) and it's been lovely to feel normal, to eat at normal times as a family and share quality time before MissM's bedtime.

Some friends have said that they never eat with their husbands cos they come home way too late. They always eat with the kids.

Some are even in bed asleep buy the time the husbands come home.

One or two friends have confided in me that they are in bed, reading by 9.30pm and lights off at 10pm.

Those friends whose husbands travel have the midweek after school routine down to a fine art as you would expect as they are mother/father/home work tutor/chef/bather/bed time story reader all in one. I am in awe of each and every one of them!

The idea of not eating with G never occurred to me until we were living in Japan and he was working a few months of long hours at a critical time in the project. I was bemoaning the fact we were eating so late, which meant we were up late waiting for dinner to 'go down' (or is that simply an old tale?)

A good friends asked me why it was OK for MissM to eat on her own around 6pm or so, with me sitting next to her for company rather than for G eatting on his own anywhere from 9pm onwards, considering the number of times they got dinner into the office, or he grabbed something on the way home.

Good question!  I'd never thought of it that way before? (This friend still encourages me to look at things from such a different persepective, despite the miles between us)

Why did I feel obligated to wait for him?
Why was it Ok for MissM to eat alone?

Sadly it didn't alter things much, or for long which is my bad.

Second day back in the office and he's got a 6pm meeting and will 'try to leave right after', so I'm going to eat with MissM and her friend who's sleeping over and he can eat when he gets home.

It feels rude, it feels disrespectful to him, but I realize at the same time it's disrespectful to MissM too and not healthy for me.

I hope we'll all get used to this new dinner routine sooner rather than later. I'm sure MissM will love it, as will I once I get over the guilts of it - and NO I am not having two small dinners as my mother suggested when she was staying with us!

Maybe, just maybe after a while old habits will die hard, and G will find a new one that allows him to  be home for dinner with us 2-3 nights a week (and then continue working after MissM's gone to bed, like the old days)

Now if only I could get myself to bed at a more reasonable hour ................

What time do you eat dinner, and who with?

With friendship

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