Thursday, 25 April 2013

ssshhhhh! it's still a secret

This morning there were 3 text messages, and one email all asking the same question where's THERE and YONDER'

It's really pleasing to know that there are friends taking time to read ms-havachat as I really enjoy writing each chat. Once again, THANK YOU!

THERE and YONDER are still a secret as there's no way I want to jinx either one, however, talking about them even in loose terms is very helpful, as there's no one close by who would really understand the 'guess what' of the texts G received, or the call to action we're experiencing.

Even in an expat community you tend to keep this phase quiet - when we were leaving Japan for here, we couldn't say anything public until contracts were signed because there were so many families at school with the same company that if word got back who knew what the ramifications might have been. Of course people in Sydney knew and BF's in Japan knew - gosh, I can't keep that quiet!

The chatter about who's leaving when and where they are going is always fun tho. It usually starts around April/May as most people opt to leave over summer so they can settle into their new home and be ready for school to start in Sept (talking northern hemisphere obviously)

FB is great for keeping up with who's moving where and when. Love receiving messages saying 'not sure if you know but so-and-so-family is moving to Timbuktu. Don't say anything til they announce it on FB'

The vast network of friends and acquaintances that very quickly builds up happens because of this migration of human beings.

Friends used to live here, now live there, and you knew someone from there that lived here so they should meet for coffee.

The other interesting observation is people's reactions - both those who are leaving, and those being left.

MrsK shared with me her experience years ago - she landed in Tokyo and started to make friends thru school. She eventually found herself in a regular group and noticed that one lady who was very open and welcoming at first had become cold and, well rude. Ignoring people generally, not being involved in things. MrsK was concerned and asked if something was wrong, was the woman unwell, had she had bad news, could they help? The answer was a simple everything's fine other than they are leaving ...... she's not recruiting, she's getting ready to go (in 3 months)

This woman had decided because they were moving onto a new adventure that she was 'checking out' of the current one, not 'recruiting' new friends, and pulling back from activities ....... the other side of the same situation is that the person leaving keeps engaged in what's going on around them but the people who are not moving on, close ranks, start to exclude the one leaving, learn to cope without them around.

I've seen both happen and still don't really understand either.

We hang on to what's going on around us til we leave for the airport and we hang onto friends well, forever .....

Not being in an expat community has been fraught with all sorts of issues which I'll probably feel more comfortable chatting about once we've moved on but what I do know is that no one here will understand the phone call/offer/going/not going/back on/oops of it all, so no point talking about it.


'He' phoned G back yesterday with approval for the type of contract being offered (the company has several different expat contracts depending on the country you are from and where you are heading to). It's a very pleasing contract, but it's still not in writing and there's still the issue of a written job spec. Can't accept a job without knowing what the job is, right?

The people from YONDER haven't replied to G's last email. G has given what little he knows about it some thought and has a lot of questions to ask, before doing any more considering, so I've also stopped doing my research.

It's funny, as in funny weird not funny HA HA that I can share with you what's going on but we've not told our parents or immediate family that we 'might' be moving. It wont' be a surprise to any of them, however, THERE and YONDER are not close to Sydney but they do offer excellent travel opportunities!

As Mum often says, who knew I'd live in Dublin for 3 months, spend 6 weeks in Japan and return to England - she often asks G where's next, and if it's ok if she starts saving to visit.

We've decided now we know there's a very good chance we'll be moving onto Adventure No 4 soon, that we need to focus on a few things:

  • Prioritize our UK Bucket List to ensure we do the things we really want to do in terms of tourist experiences. The fact that the weather is improving, and G's parents are here means we'll do a lot anyways, and the long summer vacation helps too.
  • Finish the photo albums from Japan - I've never been so behind in album work. 
  • Finalize the UK photo albums - doing them online which is easier.
  • Go thru the house with a eager eye and de-clutter (not that we have that much left to declutter, but I'm sure I'll find a few things)
  • Make a list of what to sell depending on if we go  (a) THERE or (b) YONDER as each destination is very different and housing opportunities will be different.
  • I need to focus on my pottery as there's a few specific Ikebana vases I'd like to create.

At the end of the day, like most things, there's only a few ways this 'thing' will go.

Both offers will fizzle out, or we'll decline both of them (doubtful!)
One offer will fizzle out, leaving only one to consider..
Two will be worthy of consideration and we have the luxuary of choosing.

We're quietly hoping that G's signing contracts sooner rather than later so MissM can finish the school year out here, plus G's parents are here mid May - early August and we can move over summer to start the new school year either THERE or YONDER.

But please remember, it's still a secret,

With friendship


  1. oh dear...I hope they arent sending you to NEW ZEALAND!!!!!

  2. No, honey it's not NZ. Sadly, like Australia the market there is too small x