Friday, 27 March 2015

Doing What's Right

If  you've a pre-teen or teen girl in your house, you're probably still helping them deal with the fact that One Direction as we knew it is no more.

After auditioning for X Factor UK in 2010 as individuals, it was decided to put Zayne and the others into a group ...... they finished 3rd but that didn't stop the machinations of the music industry pushing them into the spotlight. You'd have to be living under a rock these past 5 years to not be aware of their incredible global success.

Earlier this week, Zayne released a media statement saying he was leaving the band saying he's had a great time, and now he wants a normal life ..... well, as normal as an ex-1D band member can hope to get.

How did your kid/s take the news? 

MissM's not such a huge fan, but she likes their music. The news broke here overnight, and G and I thought it might be a good idea to let MissM know before school so we could control any fall out. Some of the girls in her class are HUGE fans, and we wanted to have some common sense dialogue with her before their emotions overwhelmed her.

While emptying the dishwasher while she was making her lunch I said, ' hey, overnight there were news reports Zayne has left One Direction'

WHAT? No way. Glad it's not Liam. He's my favourite, was her initial response. (Phew, was my first thought)

Then the tears welled in her eyes .... MissP and MissS and MissR (and goodness knows who else) will be really upset, They are much bigger fans than me she said.

She asked me if they had said why he left. I said from the reports it seems he's tired, and wants a break. He's had a huge time with the band, but he wants to be normal (MissM says, on can Zayne be normal, he's from ONE DIRECTION!!!!!!!!!!

I suggested he was pretty courageous for standing up for what he believes in and not going along with what others think. That there must have been some pressure from the other guys in the band for him to stay but they respected his decision to leave. MissM agreed, cos 'that's what friends do'

I explained that people, especially the media will say a lot of stuff about him that's not true, but that's probably another reason he wanted to leave. That no one, NO ONE but the people involved know the truth, and that everyone else is speculating, and that is no different to starting rumours - we don't talk about the things we don't know about, to which MissM said 'I bet even Zayne isn't sure what he's saying now. Maybe he wants a break and will come back'

It's a respect of privacy that he wants. Everyone's entitled to that. Even those in the public eye. MissM said, when he's working at being part of 1D that's fine, but when he's at home or on holidays they should leave him alone.

It was a very calm conversation, she was still very upset, but that's probably for how her friends might feel than her.

It brought back memories for me of when the Bay City Rollers (yep, I was a fan) broke up. Devastation! Tears! My empathy level was high.

As usual she took the news in her stride, her questions were answered, and she was cool.

There have been several posts on Facebook over the past few days, alerting parents not to dismiss their child/rens response to the news; that, for them it's possibly their first experience with loss, grief, disappointment. This one from CNN was very detailed.

This morning there are reports that young girls have started a slashing campaign to entice Zayne back to the band, while there were employees asking for compassionate leave from work.

Where do pre-teens and teenagers get the idea to self harm as a means of bribery?
What pressure must Zayne be under?
How do parents deal with this kind of response their kids are having to the news? While we never put down our kids feelings, nor should we expect them to know 'this too shall pass', this over reaction is scary dangerous!

One young man has simply decided enough is enough and he wants to resign from his job. But I'm a mum, and can understand his actions. I don't expect for one minute that the kids do the same, tho the dramatic outpouring of grief is a concern.

Rather than pulling him down, we should be celebrating his integrity and honesty with himself that he's had enough  - what ever the reason, what ever the future brings.

He's a 22 year old kid thrust onto the world stage because of a national TV show.

The management team, publicists, media and others possibly should have supported their rocket ride to fame, but instead pushed and shoved them out into the spotlight and expected them to cope - who knows what support they have/had, who was pushing/pulling the guys in the directions they have gone - but those 5 young men have made a lot of people a lot of money (including themselves) but at what personal cost?

Please join with me in celebrating his strength of character, his individual common sense, accept his apology, enjoy the music he made with the band, and accept his decision.

It's a relief that Zayne had the maturity and sense to simply resign. Others might not have been so brave and kept going, becoming more and more disillusioned, depressed and who knows then what media reports we'd be reading.


  1. Kind and interesting insights on this, Ms Havachat. My kids are too young to be fans but I can see that would be a great opportunity to teach them about dealing with change and loss. Nicely done lady!

    1. Thank you :)

      We all remember our first boy-band crush and it's devastating at the time.

      His actions are so positive! Imagine if other young, famous people had the courage to opt-out - maybe they'd still be with their families and friends.

      With so much pressure on 'being famous' and 'being famous for doing nothing' this is super positive and vitally important.

  2. My girls were a bit upset but living where we do we don't have the same media hype around them so it passed quickly. Now they are more upset that he has gone solo 48 hours later as they feel he wasn't truthful about his reasons.

    1. Yes!
      Sadly his credibility has completely disappeared.