Looks like we're moving THERE

My goodness this new opportunity is moving fast! Looks like Adventure No 4 is imminent. It's still a secret, so please remember to keep it to yourself, thanks.

We're moving THERE (pending contract)

YONDER haven't got back to G in a few days. We've had more time to research and discuss YONDER and had pretty much decided that it wasn't for us, so it's a relief that THERE is happening.

THERE have discussed and agreed to details of remuneration albeit it verbally, which leaves HR to dot the i's and cross the t's and issue paperwork. Which funnily enough still doesn't mean it's a done deal, tho by the time we're at this stage we fell confident but you just don't know til the ink is dry on that contract.

They need G to start ASAP which means MissM and I will be left to fend for ourselves over the next several weeks as G flies THERE and back Monday - Thursday until we pack the house and move early August (MissM will finish out the school year here). This will surely make for some interesting chats over the coming months.

G's parents arrive May 18 - August 2nd. They know he's working mad crazy hours and weren't expecting to see him during the week. However, we're not quite sure how to tell them he won't be around at all, other than weekends which sux. In fact, we have to tell them, and my family we're outta here at some point.

They are taking MissM away for a few nights over May midterm and we're planning on a city break. Told G this evening that this is not negotiable even with the new role! If he can't join me, I'll go on my own and I mean it!

There's nothing to tell people until the contract is signed.

We've decided we don't want to announce it too soon as we don't want school or friends to check out early - we also don't want MissM having to deal with the next few months knowing we're moving - a couple of weeks towards the end of term will be enough.

It's only been 18 months since we arrived, and slightly less since our shipment arrived and I opened 128 boxes and set up this house, but in many ways it feel so much longer.

In a really weird way, I'm looking forward to the packers being here,

With friendship
x

ssshhhhh! it's still a secret

This morning there were 3 text messages, and one email all asking the same question where's THERE and YONDER'

It's really pleasing to know that there are friends taking time to read ms-havachat as I really enjoy writing each chat. Once again, THANK YOU!

THERE and YONDER are still a secret as there's no way I want to jinx either one, however, talking about them even in loose terms is very helpful, as there's no one close by who would really understand the 'guess what' of the texts G received, or the call to action we're experiencing.

Even in an expat community you tend to keep this phase quiet - when we were leaving Japan for here, we couldn't say anything public until contracts were signed because there were so many families at school with the same company that if word got back who knew what the ramifications might have been. Of course people in Sydney knew and BF's in Japan knew - gosh, I can't keep that quiet!

The chatter about who's leaving when and where they are going is always fun tho. It usually starts around April/May as most people opt to leave over summer so they can settle into their new home and be ready for school to start in Sept (talking northern hemisphere obviously)

FB is great for keeping up with who's moving where and when. Love receiving messages saying 'not sure if you know but so-and-so-family is moving to Timbuktu. Don't say anything til they announce it on FB'

The vast network of friends and acquaintances that very quickly builds up happens because of this migration of human beings.

Friends used to live here, now live there, and you knew someone from there that lived here so they should meet for coffee.

The other interesting observation is people's reactions - both those who are leaving, and those being left.

MrsK shared with me her experience years ago - she landed in Tokyo and started to make friends thru school. She eventually found herself in a regular group and noticed that one lady who was very open and welcoming at first had become cold and, well rude. Ignoring people generally, not being involved in things. MrsK was concerned and asked if something was wrong, was the woman unwell, had she had bad news, could they help? The answer was a simple everything's fine other than they are leaving ...... she's not recruiting, she's getting ready to go (in 3 months)

This woman had decided because they were moving onto a new adventure that she was 'checking out' of the current one, not 'recruiting' new friends, and pulling back from activities ....... the other side of the same situation is that the person leaving keeps engaged in what's going on around them but the people who are not moving on, close ranks, start to exclude the one leaving, learn to cope without them around.

I've seen both happen and still don't really understand either.

We hang on to what's going on around us til we leave for the airport and we hang onto friends well, forever .....

Not being in an expat community has been fraught with all sorts of issues which I'll probably feel more comfortable chatting about once we've moved on but what I do know is that no one here will understand the phone call/offer/going/not going/back on/oops of it all, so no point talking about it.


Update:

'He' phoned G back yesterday with approval for the type of contract being offered (the company has several different expat contracts depending on the country you are from and where you are heading to). It's a very pleasing contract, but it's still not in writing and there's still the issue of a written job spec. Can't accept a job without knowing what the job is, right?

The people from YONDER haven't replied to G's last email. G has given what little he knows about it some thought and has a lot of questions to ask, before doing any more considering, so I've also stopped doing my research.


It's funny, as in funny weird not funny HA HA that I can share with you what's going on but we've not told our parents or immediate family that we 'might' be moving. It wont' be a surprise to any of them, however, THERE and YONDER are not close to Sydney but they do offer excellent travel opportunities!

As Mum often says, who knew I'd live in Dublin for 3 months, spend 6 weeks in Japan and return to England - she often asks G where's next, and if it's ok if she starts saving to visit.

We've decided now we know there's a very good chance we'll be moving onto Adventure No 4 soon, that we need to focus on a few things:

• Prioritize our UK Bucket List to ensure we do the things we really want to do in terms of tourist experiences. The fact that the weather is improving, and G's parents are here means we'll do a lot anyways, and the long summer vacation helps too.
• Finish the photo albums from Japan - I've never been so behind in album work. 
• Finalize the UK photo albums - doing them online which is easier.
• Go thru the house with a eager eye and de-clutter (not that we have that much left to declutter, but I'm sure I'll find a few things)
• Make a list of what to sell depending on if we go  (a) THERE or (b) YONDER as each destination is very different and housing opportunities will be different.
• I need to focus on my pottery as there's a few specific Ikebana vases I'd like to create.

At the end of the day, like most things, there's only a few ways this 'thing' will go.

Both offers will fizzle out, or we'll decline both of them (doubtful!)
One offer will fizzle out, leaving only one to consider..
Two will be worthy of consideration and we have the luxuary of choosing.

We're quietly hoping that G's signing contracts sooner rather than later so MissM can finish the school year out here, plus G's parents are here mid May - early August and we can move over summer to start the new school year either THERE or YONDER.

But please remember, it's still a secret,

With friendship
x

Mention a City by name and Google schools

There's a moment in every expat's life, when the employed expat comes home or texts 'would you live THERE?' or 'I've had an offer'

With those short sentences, for a day, a week or longer your life can be turned upside down and inside out. More often than not it amounts to nothing, but every so often it amounts to the next adventure.

G came home last night and asked me if I'd consider moving to, let's call it, THERE as he'd been called by 'him' and told to 'pack' cos there's a desperate need for G's expertise.

My instant reaction was really? After a few minutes, I said, THERE sounds interesting. Really!? THERE?

Guess most expats have a list of criteria they use to consider each move. It might involve formal discussion within the family unit, or it might be subconscious, but trust me, when a move is imminent, this is what's discussed to varying degrees.

• Be a promotion
• Remuneration.
• Quality of Life style.
• Safety (tho there are some families who live apart as the work is done in dangerous places)
• Health (as in medical care)
• Quality of education - this can also read consistency of curriuclum depending on the age of the kids.
• Perks - some industries do still offer perks as part of expat packages.
• Gets you out of an unhappy current situation
• Some are as simple as 'always wanted to live there'
• Others are a chance to work in Head Office
• Are we ready to leave where we are?
• How longs the contract?
• What'll I (as in the unemployed partner) do to fill in time?

There's also a group of expats who don't have a choice. The company simply says - at the end of this contract we'd like you to go here and you do. These days that's still mainly the realm of diplomats and military personnel and the top echelons of business (CEO's, CTO's etc)

Fortunately we still have a choice.

While cooking dinner I couldn't help but text 'his' wife and teased her with 'your husband wants mine to pack his bags and for us to go THERE' and she said 'really, sounds great.' Then a few seconds later she texted 'you for real?' As an expat in the same company she knows the drill.

Our next response is similar to a surprise visitor ringing and saying 'in the neighbourhood, thought I'd pop over for a cuppa' and you all run around like headless chickens tidying up the place. You all know what needs to be done and just do it.

G and I sat on the couch after a quick dinner googling things that are of priority in terms of 'shall we move to THERE?' As this is potentially our 4th move, we're feeling pretty confident about what decisions need to be made in order to make a final one of to move or not to move THERE.

I googled International Schools to discover there's a few to choose from, depending on where G's office is located  (we always base the house/school on the location of the office as best we can) and two are very attractive propositions. But there's no point contacting them as we have no idea where this opportunity will go.

Next on my list was rental properties (G had already done his quick google search) and fortunately we were looking in similar areas, remembering we know where the office is.

International Women's Clubs or similar was my next entry into Google Search. YES, there is an an IWC and an American Women's Club and a Welcome Newcomers group.

Next, checked out a few expat blog sites and looked up a few bloggers living THERE to see what they are chatting about ...... curious comments, very interesting city, broad range of activities for the weekend and lots of sight seeing opportunities. Sounds promising.

Then of course Googled THERE itself to see what their tourist commission says, read about it's history, climate, economy and more.

G was looking at the intranet for work to see if the role was being advertised. No, so it's another one of those 'you were recommended' opportunities which are always such a pleasure to receive. Seems the hard work, long hours etc are worth it all within context of course.

He also looked on the Australian Governments DFAT (Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade) to see what they are advising about THERE.



While we were ensconced in the what if's of moving THERE G's email made it's little noise of recognition that something new had been received. He shook his head and laughed ........ what? An request gauging his interest to move YONDER as he'd been 'highly recommended by several colleagues'

We laughed so loud and long ... really!? Two opportunities in one day .... is the universe telling us something.

So we googled YONDER.

I texted a friend who's from YONDER and explained this might very well result in nothing, but G has had an email asking him would he consider a move to YONDER and I was wondering what she could tell me about it'

As MsB is also an expat she fully understands this could be a flash-in-the-pan, or not, and was very gracious with her response.

So, I googled International Schools in YONDER, in addition to International Women's Clubs and checked out a few expat blog sites while G looked at the intranet for the role and again, not advertisement just an email based on recommendations.

We went to be around 1.30am feeling rather pleased with ourselves. We know a lot more about THERE and YONDER and for now, both are appealing, tho THERE is slightly ahead than YONDER.

Will we move over summer?  WHO KNOWS?

Will it be THERE or YONDER?  WHO KNOWS?

All I know for sure, as an expat family this is how our life rolls every 2-4 years.

We always wait til contracts are signed before sharing the news with MissM, and parents and friends. There's not that much room on this roller coaster.

It's exciting, scary, time consuming, frustrating, emotional and can amount to nothing, or it's all those things plus bittersweet when you make the decision to go cos you're sad to leave where you are but excited about where you're going.

Either way, we are so thankful for the incredible opportunities we are offered, and the experiences we have and people we met along the way, so yes, it's worth it.

HUGE request - to those of you who live near us, or at school with us, this is a HUGE leap of faith in terms of trust. We've not said anything to anyone outside ms-havacht and would really appreciate you keeping what you've read between us as MissM has no idea, and well, really there's nothing much to say, despite me filling a page!

With friendship
x