Sunday, 24 February 2013

All for nothing

We have been discussing how to tell MissM that the house is being put on the market for sale without causing her concern or grief. 

The reason we decided to tell her is because once the house is in the local newspapers, and in the windows of real estate agents people will start to find out (not that's it's a secret) and we felt, like most things, it was better coming from us than a school friend 'mummy said your house is for sale' with a defiant 'no it's not' being the response, or in case she over heard me talking.

We've always been upfront with MissM about everything. Sometimes, in hindsight we've shared stuff with her that really a child her age didn't need to know. We've never baby talked with her, we've never pretended things to be something they are not. She knows we tell her the truth, there's no ambiguity, we say what we mean and we mean what we say. 

Will I go to High School in the UK mummy?
Cos we'll have moved onto our next adventure by then.
Where will we go?
No idea - let's just enjoy being here for now, and think about where we going when Daddy tells us.
Oh, ok.

Mummy, will we ever live in Sydney?
Cos daddy would probably have to change companies and find new work and he's enjoying working with the company and he's doing well and we're happy living overseas.
I miss Sydney.
Yeah, I miss it too.
Maybe we should plan a visit.
Maybe we should.

The conversations can go on for longer, with more WHY's being asked but since MissM was small, we've had a 3-WHY rule and it still works. 

With both of the above examples I guess I could have said 'you might go to high school here honey, but you might not. Let's wait and see' but that gives her a 50/50 chance of going which will only lead to dissapointment as we know damn well we won't be here. Same with moving back to Sydney - never say never, but it's doubtful for the foreseeable future. 

Houses in Hampshire, and in particular Winchester take several weeks, sometimes even months for the contracts to be signed and keys handed over (that's once you find a buyer and agree to a price) The owners are asking a pretty hefty price, so that will factor into the sale process; plus it's two 5 bedroom homes under one roof which isn't everyone's preference.

We sat down on the couch yesterday afternoon and said, honey, can you come here please, we want to have a quick family chat. Yet again, she took the information in her stride.

I said 'R & M have decided to put the house on the market for sale, and there's a chance in the not to distant future we may or may not have to move. It'll depend entirely on the new owners. We can't make any decisions until we know what the new owners want to do, so for now, it's still our home. We wanted you to hear it from us, and know exactly what's going on. Any questions?'

She sat quietly and nodded.

'But I love Hinton House. It's the biggest place we've ever lived in and it's great for hide'n'seek, and when all our friends stay with us. Why are they selling our home?' She wasn't sad, but she wasn't happy either. 

We said how much we all enjoy the house, and that we have no idea why they are selling cos it's none of our business. But, for now, it's still our house and we'll still enjoy it until the new owners ask us to move. Our visitors are still coming and staying and we're still having friends over ... it's all the same, but sometimes people will come have a look like we did when we arrived, and that i'd do my best to make sure that happened during school time. Until the house is sold, and the new owners tell us what they want from us, we're not moving. 

You could hear the cogs working.

G continued to explain the photographers will be here Tuesday to take photos of the rooms so that they can make a brochure to show people who are interested in looking at the house, like we did when we first came to look. Tomorrow (which is today) we have to make sure every room is even tidier than normal and would appreciate your help.

Well, that did it.

The tears flowed. She wanted hugs. 

When she calmed down, she said she didn't want anyone buying her things and could she hide the things she wanted to keep. She then went on to list each of the items on her memory table in her room, all the soft toys, her books, clothes, gifts from people. WHOA GIRL Stop ..... listen. 

They are selling the HOUSE, not the stuff in it.

OHHHHHHHHHH she said very dramatically. Silly me. 

Now she understands it's the house, not the contents she hasn't mentioned a word.

All our worrying about how she'll take the news, reminded us that we have a very resilient, black'n'white kinda gal and that she handles change better than some adults.

Best get back to tidying up,

With friendship


  1. Reminds me of when we 1st left the UK, Tasha was 18 months old , we were discussing what to take/put in the attic and she asked 'will you take me too?'