What? I'm British?

Tomorrow night MissM and I are on a plane to Sydney to finalise our UK visa application with G.

It's been nearly 7 weeks since he left for Sydney to start the process while working UK hours, sorting out 'stuff'. You can feel the excitement in the air.

My telephone call with G yesterday afternoon:

G: Can you please bring our marriage certificate with you?
Me: Yes.
G: And MissM's birth certificate.
Me: Yes.
G: Do you have your dad's birth certificate?
Me: No. Why?
G: What about your parents marriage certificate?
Me: No. Why would I have that?
G: OK, we'll have to order them.
Me: WHY?
G: Oh, sorry. The lawyers have told me that you're visa application is going to be rejected.
Me: WT????????????????? (and laughing at the same time, cos this move has been horrendous in so many ways)
G: You have a legal birthright to be British and so that's what you'll get. Not a visa.
Me: Pardon?
G: You can have a thing called a Right to Abode, but not the T2 you usually get.
Me; Which one's better? What's the difference?
G: From what I understand, the British passport is better cos in a few years, MissM and I can apply too because of you which makes moving around EU so much easier.
Me: Oh. Ok then. British it is, but I'm still Australian!
G: Yes. You're not giving that up - just gaining the other
Me: O-kay ... guess so then.


Apparently he'd been dealing with this new issue for a day or so in Sydney and wanted to wait til he had all the facts before sharing it with me.

Dad was born in Scotland and therefore I am ENTITLED to be British and will be granted a RIGHT TO ABIDE (abode?) status/passport and not a mere T2 visa.

The odd thing is, I had one when we were here for Adventure No3. Apparently birthright trumps work visa's and possibly someone made a mistake last time cos apparently I should not have received the visa two years ago.

Can you imagine how it feels to be told you HAVE to become another nationality, just like that. It's hilarious, if it wasn't so serious.

Now that I've calmed down, I can see there are huge advantages to this discovery that this is happening but the fact that I am being TOLD irks me somewhat.

In addition to all the paperwork that has already been submitted, we now have to order things like Dad's birth certificate and have it priority posted to Australia to prove he was indeed born in Scotland; Mum and Dad's marriage certificate to prove he married mum, and my birth certificate to prove he is on my birth certificate as my father, tho of course, you can father a child without being married so this one's lost on me. Once all this is obtained, submitted and approved, I'm British.

Who knew it was that darn easy?

G and MissM will have the visa stamped in their passports while I'll come back with nothing different in my passport, and a heap of paperwork to submit here in the UK on our return.

The benefit to this lat minute chaos is that after a year or so, G and MissM can apply for same British status, based on the fact he's married to moi, and she's my daughter. It'll come  in very handy for MissM if she wants to go to uni/college in the UK, or work here.

My god son and my younger cousin are really miffed cos they would LOVE to be able to do what I've done and work/live in the UK but have to go thru the long process as no parents were born in UK so there's no birthright.

Any of you have a direct parental birthright to the UK?

Apparently, they WANT you!

Has anything like this happened to you? What did you do?

Ms-havachat about Community - What A Start!

Expat's make friends very quickly.

It's like speed dating.

You met because your kids are in the same class at school, or you have mutual friends from a past adventure who introduce you via email or Facebook, or they are the wives of your husbands work colleagues, or you met at the International Women's Club or the gym, tennis club, running club, pottery class or art course.

You smile, make small talk.

"What! You too?" WOW. Small world, eh?

There's a list of  standard questions that can be a heard all over the globe on the first day of international school as returning parents meet new arrivals over Welcome Coffee Mornings.

• When did you arrive?
• Where are you from?
• How long are you here?
• Do you have Kids?
• How many?
• Age?
• Where are you living?
• Do you have a car?
• Will you be working?
• Who does hubby work for?
• What does he do?
• Does he have to travel?
• Oh, do you know .........?
• Where else have you lived?
• When were you there?
• Oh, do you know .......?
• Are you a member of (insert name of gym or Club)?

If you've played this game you know it's not merely a Q and A session but rather, a very important  conversation that allows each of you to quickly work out if you want to swap phone numbers. It's the beginning of girl dating. 

Thanks to girl dating I've been on a few coffee dates, accompanied MissM on a Friday afternoon play date and been to lunch. Nothing but nothing could have prepared me for last Tuesday.

Last Tuesday morning MrsD phoned and asked if I'd like to join her and MrsW (newbie) on a quick little look-see of her favourite shopping spots in the locale. We met at the school car park and went in one car.

We drove to Egham High Street and had a quick walk around, then to Staines Shopping Centre where we grabbed lunch from Marks and Spencers after a quick look-see at the main bits of the area.

Now, I have had a niggling pain in my hip for a few weeks (yeah yeah) and over the course of a few hours it got worse. My thigh was so painful I could hardly walk. MrsW confessed that she thought I had a limp but didn't recall me limping when we first met a few days before. When MrsD asked me if I was ok, MrsW realised I didn't have a limp but was in pain. By the time I had to collect MissM, I was finding it very difficult to walk and the pain was apparent to others as several mums said 'are you ok'

MrsD saw me and told me to sit down; she grabbed MrsB and asked her if MissM could go home with her as she was taking me to A&E. I drove home. MissM was delighted to have an impromptu palliate and sad I wasn't well and MrsD went home, organised her 3 kids and met me at the hotel.

Three hours later, waiting in A&E, and much bonding was done. I'm sure I talked more than her as the pain was pretty bad. She phoned MrsB and explained we would be hours and could MissM sleep over; she then phoned another mum (I only know her first name) and asked her to collect MissM from school the following day so I could 'rest'.

MrsD and I laughed so hard when she had to help me get undressed and gown up for X-rays. We've met twice in a large group for coffee and now this! The man in the next bed commented on how lovely it was to hear such genuine laughter - we heard thru the curtain he had leukaemia and was worried about a burn he got over the weekend being infected. That stopped us laughing quick smart.

MrsD pushed me in the wheel chair to and from X-ray and out to the car .... if we're not BF's after this I don't know what we are.

After a series of X-rays, and a few push-pull tests there's nothing wrong other than strained muscles (no idea how/when I did that). They gave me super duper pain killers and anti-inflamatory tablets.

On Wednesday afternoon, MrsD met MissM at reception and introduced her to the 'mum' who brought her home; she then kindly offered to collect MissM Thursday and bring her home so I could have two full restful days.

MissM was so kind - asking me if I was ok. I was more concerned about her as I had disappeared and she had spent a night with a family we didn't know and was brought home by someone unfamiliar to her. She took it in her stride and said muma, they are school mums. I was fine. HOW ARE YOU?

WHAT A START!

I'm usually the one offering to help and organise so being on the receiving end from women I have literally only just met was truly incredible.

MrsD has done a few expat stints and kept saying 'its' what we do, we can't rely on the husbands so we have to rely on each other'. Talk about girl power!

Her husband travels more than he is home; MrsW husband is still in their previous home finishing his contract; the other lovely mums husband also travels 'a lot' for work; another mum I met is pretty much a full time single mum as her hubby is based in the UAE and she and the kids are here - they all support each other when ever the needs arises. There's no thank you cards or flowers sent - it's just a given that you do what you can do when you can do it.

Thank goodness G doesn't travel. Though if he did, I know I'm in a great community and would be just fine.

With friendship
x

ms-havachat on the arriving phase - JUST BREATHE! Oh, Bite me.

Google even had this little gem waiting for me today.

Just breathe.

Be patient.

Things take time.

Don't rush.

It'll all work out.

As expats, how many of you have heard these pearls of wisdom?

When you are in the arriving phase, (we're not even up to the settling in phase), all you want to do is have things move quickly and smoothly so that your family, especially the kids can 'settle' and 'feel at home' so that life can adopt a normality again.

While hubby is at work, and the kids are at school, you are running around trying to make new friends, find a hairdresser, unpack boxes, work out how to do an online grocery shop, drive on the 'wrong' side of the road, remember how to work the sat nav, collect kids from school, prepare dinner (or order take away) and collapse into bed ready to face another day. 

Just breathe.

Be patient.

Things take time.

Don't rush.

It'll all work out.

Yeah yeah. BITE ME!

Sorry, heard it all before. In fact, I've probably even said it and meant every word. But when you're the one having to be patient, forget it. Things do take time to sort themselves out - sometimes longer than others, but that's OK. Each Adventure is unique. Yeah Yeah. BITE ME!

I've been sitting in the posh lounge area at our second temporary home since arriving in the UK last Thursday most of the morning. There's genteel music being piped thru the BOSE sound system, the rain is bucketing down and I just noticed the trees are starting to change colour. I'm breathing in and out knowing full well the  next few weeks will be crazy busy, with lots of ups'n'downs, so for now I'm being patient. 

The morning has been filled with taking MissM to school; a lovely long chat with MsA  (We used the whatsapp phone and it was really good), read a few news articles online, commented on a few things friends posted on FB, checked out my favourite bloggers and what-do-ya-know, it's lunchtime!

Haven't moved a muscle! The waitress asked me if I'd like to see the lunch menu .... yes please. Lunch just arrived. A delicious smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel with salad, and a latte. Not even sure I need to find anywhere else for lunch for the next few days, as the atmosphere here is delightful! 

The Art of Doing Nothing. 

G left for Sydney last night. 

MissM coped really well. I was the mess. 

Two nights ago I had a panic attack. I've never had one before. I don't ever want to have one again.  Have you had a panic attack or been with someone who has. They are awful!

It started around midnight. I woke with a fright from a dream - no money; no house; a car registered in another country; our belongings in storage in another country; I felt abandoned and so very alone. I think I paid too much attention to a podcast of Two Fat Expats a while ago about expats who divorce and the ensuing drama's ... not that G and I are divorcing. Far from it. This move has been fraught from the get-go with issues beyond our control. I'm still not quite in the right frame of mind to chat  about what's been going on, and continues to go on but I will. 

It'll all be fine. 

Just breathe.

Be patient.

Things take time.

Don't rush.

It'll all work out.

So for the rest of the day, til school pick up, I'll be online, checking out Facebook updates, reading the news online, listening to the music and hoping the rain stops, if not subsides in time for pick up. Oh no, a spark of lightening and a huge clap of thunder. A real storm. Haven't had one of those for years. 

After pick up, we'll come back to the hotel, chill out in the room before going to the dining room for dinner. Then we'll go back to the room, have showers and go to bed. I'll try to download a TV show to listen to on the laptop with headphone so MissM can sleep next to me (my kindle got packed up, totally my mistake). Hopefully G will ring before MissM falls asleep.

Wonder what tomorrow holds? 

The Art of Doing Nothing. 

Trust me, I'd much rather be in our house, overwhelmed by unpacking boxes and making the house our home for the next few years than doing nothing, tho I've mastered doing nothing just as well as being busy. 

A potential new friend who I met at school yesterday said she feels she should be doing more to settle in. I said why ... there's time. She hasn't even found a house yet, let alone anything else. Her husband left for where they were living to finish out his contract, so she's single-parenting in a strange country (not unlike me at the moment, tho we've lived here before and have friends scattered around the place)

Many expats rush to fit in, get settled, sort things out, have everything the same as before, when it's not.

She asked me how we were going in terms of settling in .... I don't know her well enough to dump on her so I simply said, it's fine. We've a few issues to resolve but it'll all happen. She said she has no idea how we move so often and still smile and asked me for any tips. 

So, here's a few tips for her and those of you who have just arrived,

- Breathe.

- You're not alone. 

- Make lists of things that you need to do, or your husband needs to do, or the kids or your employer: and stick to them.

- Prioritise each thing to be done. 

- Set yourself only one or two things to accomplish each day (more than that is stressful and can be demotivating IF you don't get them done)

- Celebrate every single small success (especially if you are living where you don't speak the language or don't understand the culture)

- Make time to be flexible when people invite you for coffee or a walk, or to take you somewhere. Cultivating new friendships is a priority, regardless of what's on the list.
- If you can't access a mobile phone right away, make sure you have a pen'n'paper handy to write down phone numbers and at least be able to text or whatsapp or viber or FaceTime ..... there are so many apps that work on WiFi.
- Have a reliable sat nav to help you get around.
- Sign up to the Parents Ass. at school or your place of worship so that you 'belong' somewhere and have something to do and somewhere to go.
- Seek out and join the local International Women's Club (or similar)
- Breathe.
- Be Patient.

Tomorrow I'll phone a few people I've been introduced to via email and tee up a coffee; we're off to friends for lunch on Bank Holiday Monday, which only leaves Saturday and Sunday to fill in but I have a few ideas. 

The Art of Doing Nothing.

Just breathing.

With friendship

x