ms-havachat on Belonging

Back in June, before the long (northern hemisphere) summer school holidays started, we chatted about Volunteering at School (revisit chat here).

Did you put your hand up for anything? OHHHH, do tell! How's it going?

I did ...... on two Boards (aka committees).

I told G about one, but not the other for a few weeks as I knew he'd flaunt his eyes at me and smirk (which he did LOL)

Fortunately I'm a rather organised person, and have learnt a thing or two over the years about committees and feel like I can juggle the two, and as luck would have it, they are intertwined in many ways.

I'm on the School Board (which to me sounds like the governing body, which it isn't - it's the school parents committee) in a high profile social role which suits me down to the ground and I'm really enjoying it.

I also ended up on the International Women's Club Board which is something I really didn't think I'd do here, tho I'm actually very pleased it's worked out the way it has.

This means:

• Two separate Monthly Board Meetings to prepare for and attend
• Two reports to be written
• Two lots of minutes to read and address
• Two General Monthly Meetings to participate in
• For one position, I plan/host a regular event held every 4-6 weeks
• For the other role, I am on the planning/hosting team 
• Sub-committees
• Nominated for one official sub-committee on one Board
• Trying not to get on any sub committees on the other Board (early days yet)
• Between the two Boards, there's 20+ potential new friends, or at the very least, acquaintances from several countries.
• Lots of new skills to learn from the other Board Members
• The opportunity to influence change and share my experiences and ideas (a couple have already been accepted on both Boards which is rewarding)

Beyond the work side of things, being nominated and accepted is really pleasing as it reminds me  

that despite my occasional big mouth, and loud opinions, my liberal opinions and my occasional lapse of diplomacy, that I have a wide social circle, and I'm part of the community. 

Most of us like to feel like we belong. That we fit in. That we have a tribe to hang out with. These things are possibly even more important to an expat, who moves often. If we're here for just our contract, which is 2 years, we don't have time to fluff around! We'll be gone before we do anything!

We've been here just on one year ..... minus all the school holidays ...... it's not that long in the scheme of things to establish a life, make friends, build trust, and feel at home. 

The women on both Boards are so interesting. The diversity of careers, education (some with no degrees, some with one others with several),  skills etc is awesome! And that's BEFORE you learn about their expat experiences! I think that's one reason expats gravitate towards volunteering. We can't necessarily work depending on visa status, so being involved on a committee allows us to use our brains and skills - some take things a tad too seriously sometimes, but it all works out in the end. 

It's still a good idea when you're new to hang back, sussing things out before wanting to commit. But it's the best way to avoid mistakes and taking on too much or doing something you really don't enjoy.

Our school board is itching to ask newbies to 'get involved' and I've cautioned them to be calmer about it. 

Just think when you were new and all the things you were busy navigating on behalf of the family - getting involved in a school event is the farthest thing from your mind! Happy to join in, but organise, forget it! We need to allow newbies to settle in, suss out the opportunities then pounce on them.

So, with todays meetings agenda printed out, and last weeks (other) board meeting minutes approved, I'm happy I found a few minutes to bash this out and share with you as it's been a while. 

I'd love to know what committees you are on, your role, what you love about being involved, your plans for the year ..................

With friendship

x

ms-havachats on about volunteering at school

It's that time of year again (in the northern hemisphere at least), when school Parent Committees/Boards transition from one team to another. Our school has already done this, and I am on the incoming Board (parent board/committee not the official Board, confusing, right?)

After a self imposed year's sabbatical, I'm ready to get back to being busy within the school community. I've learn my lesson and didn't jump in right away, but opted to peruse the scene from a short distance and suss things out before thinking 'OMG what have I done?'

I've been on school committees before, and if you've been reading for a while, you know I was VP of the IWCD. I've just taken on a role I've overseen but not done before. It's fun to see the similarities and differences, not unlike starting a new job. Lots of 'why do you do that' or 'have you thought about this' and thinking WT LOL.

Last week, a BF asked me for advice before she nominated herself for a position on her kids school board. She would like to get more involved in the school community, know a bit more about what's going on etc. While I was sending her a reply I thought what a good chat this would make as maybe there are others who are considering the same steps this school year.

So here goes, ms-havachat's guide to considering being on the School Parents Committee (or any volunteer role)


TIME:

• Don't rush in! Take time on subcommittees first as a means of sussing out how things are done; what politics (if any) are happening; learn the history of why things are done the way they are and if change is welcome/needed; Interview THEM as much as you can without them knowing. 
• I tend to spend the best part of the first year attending as many school (or International Women's Clubs) events (that are interesting and relevant) because I wanted to, and because it was a way to meet people (i.e.: organisers) and to observe how things are done. When you're seen to be involved as a participant, people chat with you and you soon have 'friends on the Committee' even tho they may not be Friends (capital F being the difference)
• If the opportunity to be on a sub-committee crops up during that year, take it! Another easy way to be involved without committing. 
• Whatever role you take on, the time it takes to do that role may well be way more than you are told. Be prepared, be organised. 
• I keep the afternoon/evening of the Monthly meeting free for any administration and follow ups needed to be done so they are attended to straight away. 
• Respond to/write emails and make phone calls during the day; nothing past 5pm unless absolutely necessary and definitely nothing on the weekend.
• Monthly meetings
• Follow up meetings
• Sub Committee meeting
• Administration
• Role dependant, but there are always emails (no one talks on a phone anymore)
• Research/planning/preparation
• For the first time my Committee email is different to my personal email (as stipulated by school), and I have it set up on my iPad, not coming into my laptop or my phone.
• So. Much. More. Freedom!
• Attending/participating in events
• As a committee member you are expected to participate in most, if not all the events at school
• In addition to encouraging friends to join in the fun too!
• The other important consideration is how long are you going to be living where you are? If it's a short contract, maybe you don't want to be burdened with a committee OR maybe it's exactly what you need to immerse yourself as quickly as possible into your new community. 
• Remember, rule of thumb; first 6-12 months you're really settling in, second year you know the ropes and enjoying life ..... then do you move? extend? How much travel will you be doing? What age are your kids? How much attention/support do they need?

TEAM:

• Knowing who the President is going to be before you commit, is very helpful.
• It should never be a committee based purely on friendships, but rather a committee who over time become friends. 
• Speak with the incoming President and find out their ideas and goals for their time at the helm, find out how open they are to yours.
• Like a CEO, or the captain of a sports team the President has a lot to do with the success of the Committee (or, the Committee learn quickly how to work around them)
• Understand the organisational chart 
• It might 'just be school' and you are 'just volunteering' but there still needs to be structure

THE ROLE:

• Make sure the role you are asked to consider is absolutely the one you want. 
• Know your strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes and don't be persuaded otherwise. 
• I will consider most roles but never ever treasurer or secretary; just not my skill set. 
• Talk with the incumbent. Listen to how they did the job, and ask questions.
• It's just like a job interview, just with no income derived.
• Ask lots of how? why? when? questions 
• A great question is 'if you were to do the job this year, knowing what you know what would you do differently? Quickly followed by .... 'what would you do differently'

FINANCIAL

• Every committee reimburses in their own way for money you might spend on it's half. 
• Be very clear on how you are to be reimbursed
• I have heard of horror stories of people spending huge amounts of money only for it to be challenged ........ make sure you absolutely understand this aspect of the committee and don't be scared to suggest alternatives if you don't feel comfortable. 
• Do you need to provide a number of quotes beforehand?
• How long does it take for the money to be repaid?
• Cash or direct transfer (yes! I've had to bank cheques as no online transfer option was possible)

OTHER PLACES TO VOLUNTEER:

• If school or International Women's Clubs don't interest you, or you've been-there-done-that, think about volunteering at:
• Hospital
• Disadvantaged kids
• Senior Citizens
• Community Centres
• Charity groups (too many to name)
• Art galleries, museums, libraries 
• Community sports clubs
• Church, Synagogue, Mosque
• Youth centres
• Community Arts groups
• Animal shelters

BENEFITS OF GETTING INVOLVED (in no order)

• Great way to get to know people quickly
• Knowing what's going on and being in a position of influence at time of change is enjoyable.
• It's a great way to 'pay it forward' 
• As an expat, it's possibly the only way you'll ever get to use your skills and experience if you're visa is stamped in such a way you can't be gainfully employed
• Looks good on your CV if/when you return 'home'
• Meetings, activities etc quickly fill up a diary and helps give your weeks meaning
• Good role modelling for your kids

Personally, I really enjoy my time on Committees. The friendships have been great, my diary has direction, my skills are being used, it's fun to give back to your community.

Please share if you have anything else you'd like to add.

What's been your favourite volunteer role and why?

Experiences - good'n'bad? 

Tips? 

ms-havachat's about coffee mornings

Who doesn't enjoy sipping coffee, chatting with friends.

It doesn't matter if you're in a cafe, their home, your home or the school library.

Just being together, talking, sharing, supporting is what it's all about.

Coffee mornings with or without a guest speaker are one of the regular events that glue the expat school community together. In fact, they probably glue most school communities together, and church groups, or a book club for that matter.

They are a great way to bring people together, to ensure the non-working parents have an opportunity to meet other parents and hopefully start friendships, to promote activities that require volunteers, and generally lift the community spirit within the school.

Some schools do it better than others, and it's great to be back in a school community that do it well - maybe a bit too many, but at least they are there and you can choose when to participate.

There are Welcome Back coffee mornings in September and January; grade coffee mornings which are different to class coffee mornings, Lower (elementary/primary) school coffee mornings and of course, one's for Middle and High school; then there's the all of school term coffee mornings, and the one's hosted by the Parents Association. Occasionally, the principal or head of school will host one too.

Sometimes there are guest speakers, sometimes there isn't.

Going thru the school calendar yesterday and writing up the relevant dates in the diary took me nearly an hour, but also made me realise just how many coffee mornings there are!

Thank goodness we've only one child here! Imagine having 4 grade coffee mornings, across the 3 schools (lower, middle and senior) plus 4 class coffee mornings plus the Parents Association - you'd swish thru your days!

Today I was invited to the first one with the Aussie and NZ parents for this year.

There were 4 dads and 8 mums.

We met at a lovely local cafe/restaurant for a late breakfast/coffee/chat.

The normal questions were asked of me and one other new arrival. You know the one's we chatted about a few days ago when we talked about Community - what a start! Everyone is amazed that this is our 5th move in 9 years .... I'm beginning to think it IS a lot.

One dad mentioned his daughter isn't coping too well but it's only been 6 months and thankfully he can see slight improvements already. Another mum had us in raucous belly laughs over her epiphany (her word) in the shower earlier today that she sent her son to school with seafood for lunch (a no-no like nuts) and how she bolted out of the shower and phoned school to retrieve the lunch from his backpack; we talked about fundraising for MrsD's eldest daughter and I'm excited that I'm going to help her plan and execute some fundraising ideas for her CAS (community service) component of her  IB.

Our new school encourages a parent from each nationality to step forward and volunteer to be THE lead parent of the group in terms of new families arriving during term, and especially for the organisation of the annual International Fair. Two mums offered to be the Aussie/NZ parent reps for 2015-16. When I told G I didn't volunteer he was delighted! I could sense his relief over our Skype session.

I'm now buzzing from the coffee's this morning, so it's green tea or water for the rest of the day.

With friendship
x

Join In NOW

What a morning!

Over 30 vendors, Club members and guests, milling around shopping and chatting over tea'n'coffee, raising money for charity.

Good for the soul, especially when you are on the organising team, or volunteering on the day.

I can't stress enough the importance of joining the local International Women's Club, or American Women's Club or French Womens' Club or any other expat oriented Club the second you arrive in your new city.

If you simply Google INTERNATIONAL WOMENS CLUB you will be amazed at how many there are. Each one will have it's own criteria for membership, but they all share the same mission, tho the words might be slightly different - to help new arrivals settle quickly and well into the City, and to make friends. Some Clubs are more philanthropic than others, some are more social - you'll find the one to suit you. And if it's not 'you', don't disregard it too quickly. JOIN! Take a few months to see what it's like. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Some of my BEST friends over the past 8 years started over a coffee at an IWCD meeting, or thru an introduction simply because we were both from Australia. I've met the most interesting ladies thru the Club, and learnt so much.

I am a strong advocate for membership to International Women's Clubs and was over the moon when I was asked to be Vice President this year. Everything I do is paying it forward, giving back to the Club that made me so welcome and helped me so much on our first expat adventure.

Sadly, the distance and time frames of activities in/around Tokyo prohibited me from joining that one;  The community at school more than made up for it. I've no idea how I'd have fitted everything in if I joined.

Winchester to London is just that bit too far to be guaranteed of getting in/out between school hours, plus the cost was ridiculous. The train ran from Winchester to Waterloo well enough (if there wasn't track work, or other delays) but getting from Waterloo to ?????? might have been another 30+ minutes and that's going in - double that to come home. So again, I didn't join the Australian Womens' Club or International one.

Trust me, I know what's it's like to be disengaged, to feel uncomfortable and lonely. The IWC's can and do have a huge impact. I know that if things had been different, and joining was an option, our time, my time in the UK would have been so different.

Being able to re-join IWCD was one of the highlights of returning to Dublin.

This year we had a committee of 10 organising the Bazaar, of which 4 were new members to the Club.

They had great ideas, shared experiences from previous Club's they belonged to, saw how 'we' do things, and more than that, instantly connected with members who have been with the Club for  a long time, and were seen by others as being involved!

Moving countries often requires you to learn very quickly how to fit in, where you'll make friends, establish a social network and, if you're visa prohibits you from gaining employment, keeping busy!

Volunteering is the best way to immerse yourself; learn the ropes, hang out with people, be seen to be active and participative. If you would rather not be on committee's there's oodles of things to do:

• sell raffle tickets, 
• bake cakes, 
• be the one to collect donations of books etc,
•  put your hand up to be on a roster to work behind a stall;
• pick up members who don't drive and would otherwise not attend,
• rustle up a few donations from local businesses for the raffle, the following is a helpful list of business we ALL know, who might consider giving a gift voucher. Vouchers are brilliant as they are worth nothing until someone uses them - and then you end up spending more than the voucher. 
• gym instructor
• tennis coach
• pilates teacher
• yoga teacher
• beautician
• hairdresser
• dry cleaners 
• physio
• chiro
• masseuse
• favorite restaurant
• favourite cafe
• local fruitshop
• local butcher
• local fishmonger
• florist
• babysitting or child minding
• gardening
• home help (cleaners, ironing service etc)
• get the idea?
• Help with decorating the venue
• Offer to create a music sound track 
• Be there early to help set up, or offer to stay back to pull down event
• If you're handy with social media, offer to manage the FB and Twitter side of the event
• Creative people can design posters or invitations
• Depending on the event, there may well be lots of envelopes that need stuffing and stamps going on,
• Bring friends to the event!

There's a role for everyone who wants one. 

While it's lovely to be asked to participate, please don't be shy - offer!

There are so many places needing volunteers - this is but one aspect of volunteer work. 

As an expat, I guess the obvious places are school, preschool, church, sports clubs, as well as IWC's; but there are local charities that need help too. Ask around for ideas, or Google them.

Depending on where you volunteer you might need to be interviewed, offer up references, have a police check done etc. 

Sometimes we need to get out of our comfort zone, to do something we've never done before. It's exciting and scary but so worthwhile. The environment offered by IWC's and one would think any organisation you would be volunteering with is warm and friendly as most of the people involved are volunteers with good intentions. 

It's a great opportunity to add value to existing skills and a relaxed way to learn new ones.

Our raffle overflowed with prizes, all donations from local business and the vendors present; it took us over 25 minutes to call them all out (something we have to address for future as it stops people shopping with vendors, and unless you're winning, it can be pretty dull); our Bric'A'Brac table sold out (which means someone's trash is really someone else' treasure) and our we sold a lot of preloved books (the remainder will be donated to charity). Our bakers were so busy and created delicious treats and took orders for delivery pre-Xmas.

We raised a lot of money for Special Needs Parents Association which is the foundation of our Annual Bazaar, but we also made a difference to our members, especially our new ones, who had never been to the Bazar before.

To receive emails of thanks for a great day, or, I'm so proud to be part of this Club after yesterdays event, to offers of help for next year is really pleasing.

It feels kinda weird today knowing that the two Bazaar's are behind me ...... I'm looking forward to getting back to the gym, catching up with friends, not having my phone beep'n'ring all hours, but in a strange way, I'll miss it too.

G asked me last night, am I now winding down for the holidays, or winding down to wind up for the next event? I didn't dare say the next event LOL.

With friendship
x

It's All About Community Spirit

The Diplomatic Community of Dublin host an annual International Charity Bazaar at the Royal Dublin Showgrounds (aka, RDS).  The general public is invited to 'Experience the World in a Day', and all monies raised on the day is pooled together, and donated to local charities.

Last year, 4,000 people helped raise €60,000 which was donated to 5 charities (the charities are known beforehand with lots of promotion leading up to the event)

Last year I noticed, there was no Australian stand and couldn't help but wonder why. Considering the history between the two countries, I thought it was disappointing that the Aussie community in Dublin couldn't get their act together for a stand. I was determined to find out why there was so stand, and to see what might be done to ensure there would be one this year.

I asked around and learnt that the last time there was a stand, the Deputy Ambassadors wife (I think that was his position) took it upon herself to organise things. She might have even been the co-ordiantor of the whole event one year. In fact, most of the organizers are the wives of Diplomats (remember, we are in a very patriarchal community). Our Ambassador is a woman, and the Embassy is small in terms of employees, so this event, while important, didn't have anyone able to dedicate the time to organising. They support the event with donations to the raffle and Tombola.

Move forward a few months, and guess who's been busy co ordinating the Australian stand at this years ICB?

Yep, little ol' me.

Now most Embassies sell food, drinks, arts'n'crafts, jewellery, fashion items, toys. As Australia is so far away, and with no budget, what on earth could we sell? It was slowly becoming apparent WHY we hadn't a stand. What Aussie businesses are in Ireland that would want to promote their product or services at the event?

It's been such fun using my brain (again). I've enjoyed putting my 'creative' hat back on, and coming up with strong marketing suggestions and working them thru to a positive conclusion reminded me of why I loved my career in advertising so much. Lateral thinking. Creative concepts. Making sure everyone benefits. Making the initial approach. Keeping notes of when emails were sent/received; phone calls made, messages left. Waiting for the response. The buzz of a 'yes, we'd love to help'

It's been a lot of work, but like anything it's been so worthwhile.

With huge help from Mr&MrsA in Sydney (THANK YOU!), McGuigans Wines were the first to agree to participate in the event. They have generously offered to sell a twin-pack, gift boxed set of one red and one white wine. Not only that, they are providing staff to set up a professional pop-up stand, and will be offering tastings on Sunday. THANK YOU!

The team from Aussie owned/founded CurrencyFair will be there too, helping people understand how to go about transferring currency back'n'forth (perfect synergy at at INTERNATIONAL event, don't you think?). While they won't sell anything the day, they will be able to promote the heck out of their products and services, and for that, they have made a generous financial donation to the Aussie kitty.  THANK YOU!

Geoff and his chef @ Woolshed Baa came to the rescue and generosity baked 300 lamingtons. They are so pretty and uniform! THANK  YOU!

Lamingtons YUMM!!!!

Finally, no Aussie stand is complete without TIM TAMS! Sadly, Tim Tams are no longer imported into Ireland, so finding the right person within Campbells Arnotts in Sydney was fraught with time zone differences, the impersonal 'contact' to a large multinational company, and finally, asking for something all the way in Ireland was simply, very cheeky. Our Ambassador made a few enquiries while on holidays in Sydney and between the two of us we managed to track down the right person.

Long long story short - a very helpful lady on the other end of a generic 'Hello I hope you can help me' email replied! Not only that, she organised for 6 boxes of Tim Tams to be delivered to the Australian Embassy from Rotterdam, and 6 boxes + promotional material to be delivered from SYDNEY - all donated. You can only imagine my surprise when I read the email.
THANK YOU to Hayley in the North Strathfield office, and my email-buddy, Lilien.

You've no idea how exciting it is to know our household has the only TimTams in all of Ireland. MissM bought the first packet for her daddy.

I posted a pic onto my FB page and have already received bribes from friends who want to be assured of securing a few packets.


Several friends have offered to come help on the day which will make it a fun Sunday.

MissM has offered to be in charge of the Tim Tams and has been practicing her 5x tables (we are selling one pack for €5)

G has offered to collect the lamingtons early Sunday morning, and to help with the  financial aspects at the end of the event.

It's exciting to be a few sleeps away from this event. I've booked a massage for Monday afternoon, just in case!

I'm so proud to be Australian and be part of the vibrant International Community in Dublin.

What national event have you been part of?

How do you feel when you wear your national colours?

Do you have a national costume (we don't)?

If you had to say what your national favourite food/s were, what would they be?

What food do you miss the most from 'home?

With friendship

x

Who Knew Volunteering Could Be So Difficult?!

The definition is simple enough.

Noun: A person who freely offers to take part in an enterprise or undertake tasks.

Verb: Freely offering to do something.

Where would the world be with out volunteers?

Just stop and think about your local community – hospitals, animal shelters, Meals on Wheels, churches, nursing homes, hospices, canteen duty at the local school, rehab shuttle services, the local library, every single registered charity, soup kitchens, meals on wheels, community nurses and midwives – the list is endless.

Then the global network of volunteers – World Vision, Plan, HOPE, Doctors without Boarders, Green Peace, World Wildlife Fund, Red Cross and hundreds we’ve never heard of.

These organisations wouldn’t exist but for the support and passion of their vast network of 

volunteers.

People volunteer for all sorts of reasons; giving back to their community, or they have a direct involvement with a cause, they might want to add clout to their CV, good work experience, or they have a friend of a friend who needs help, or that they simply want something to do and somewhere to do it.

MrsD is the Chairperson of a nationwide organisation supporting her daughter while in Sydney MrsE hosts an annual fundraising event for her daughters special needs school, and Mr and MrsK host an annual golf day raising funds for their children’s school.

MrsC organised a group of mums to participate in the annual Moonwalk in London because her aunt is suffering with breast cancer. Cousins in Sydney participate in Movember while others shave their heads. We all wear a Red Nose, pin a Daffodil to our clothes and have  A Bandaged Bear in a cupboard.

Mum’s just started volunteering one day a week in the gift shop of the nursing home group where my late grandmother lived. Mum always said she would ‘give back’. Several friends are volunteers, so it gets her out'n'about.  MrsH has been volunteering at her local church for years doing the weekly flowers and spent years involved in her 3 kids schools. 

Gosh, who’s not volunteered at school, or the kids football team, or sewed costumes for the annual ballet concert, worked with kids at Sunday School or on holiday camps – volunteering (and fundraising) comes in all shapes and sizes, for all sorts of reasons.

The biggest, high profile volunteer group in recent times as those at the Olympic Games – where would Sydney and London have been with out them? 

My first full on volunteer role was as VP Events on the parents committee at MissM’s school in Yokohama. Some weeks there were several meetings at school, numerous phone calls and emails - hours of work! The other VP and I would often joke this was a full time job. The friendships made as a result was one of the most wonderful outcomes of the work we did; the support and appreciation from the Head of School and staff was a delightful by-product, and the faces on the kids when we did things that directly affected them was priceless. It’s something I am very proud to have been an intricate part of.

I also volunteered at the YCAC with friends on the Kids Committee and organised a few great events for the kids before we disbanded.

So on reflection I have been a volunteer and really enjoyed it.

With quite a bit of spare time on my hands these days, and a visa stamped in such a way employment is in the too hard basket, the hourly rates of pay in the UK aren’t great and like most mums, what would I do with MissM during the HUGE amount of school holidays getting a job isn’t a viable option.

So, for me, volunteering sounded like a great way to fulfil a few objectives.

• Give my week structure 
• Get me ‘out there’ amongst our local community 
• Expand my social network
• Get my brain working again

As we don’t have any connections here to anything specific, my desire to volunteer is purely selfish. 

Back in November, I met with the Volunteer Co ordinator of a very large, well known and much loved local charity (who shall remain nameless) to see how I might volunteer. Three hours later, we agreed that the marketing/fundraising department would contact me and I'd commit to volunteering there 9am-3pm Mondays; and the occupational therapist would contact me about arts'n'crafts which I'd do every Wednesday 9am - noon. She was particularly interested in my experience with decoupage and scrap booking.

I skipped out of the building! My heart was soaring. The charity was incredible; the work they did unique and so very special. I really looked forward to being part of their team.

CRB (Police Check) and references needed to be done and then I'd start.

It's April, and I've not heard a word from the marketing department, or the occupational therapist. My CRB was approved (naturally) and the references were brilliant. I've emailed the lady I met with several times chasing her up and her response is usually 'sorry, we're really busy' or the last one 'the marketing department is being restructured and the employees are having to reapply for their jobs' SO WHAT?????

A friend of a friend volunteers A LOT and she introduced me to a few charities and one or two were of interest but one needs 3-6 month training on set days a week and they are not run all the time. The next session doesn't start til September! 

Surely volunteering shouldn't be this difficult.

I met a lady about a month ago thru a friend at school who has been in the fundraising industry for several years, and has recently branched out on her own with a rather visionary business model. We had a lovely lunch and got to know each other in terms of skills, experience, motivations etc (really did feel like a job interview), her plans for this fledgling business, and what I could offer.

I agreed to do start helping her with one local event to see how it goes before taking on more. (At least that's one lesson I've learned and remember to put into practice)

A month later, I’ve made the tough decision to tell her I won’t be doing any more events. 

Sadly, volunteering with her didn’t work and the more I thought about her business model, and told G and a few friends here, they all raised issues about it that I hadn't thought about and when I did, I also thought ???????

There's no office (well, now there is but it's about an hours drive from me) so it didn’t get me out of the house, it kept me tied to the kitchen table and my laptop in more ways that FB and emails do. She left her last job ‘quickly’ and so needs to build all the data bases. 

It’s didn’t get me ‘out there’ amongst the local community cos I’ve been at home in my kitchen on the laptop Googling schools, media (radio, newspapers and online) and creating databases. Once done it was a matter of creating a PR campaign to promote the event and sell tickets. I won't go into detail with what transpired as it sounds like I'm having a right ol' whinge, but suffice to say it got complicated and confusing and emails were flying back'n'forth between us. 

All I wanted to do was to go into an office, be told here's the PR, here's the media database - GO!

The only thing it did do was get my brain working again which I loved! It's a relief to know it still works.

We met earlier this week to brainstorm the next event (this was getting a bit too serious and involved for me) and finalise the current one. I had to be honest with her and let her know that  it wasn't working for me. Rather than going to an office and having a chat and working alongside others, I'm at home alone (again) building data bases and feeling responsible for a (min) 100 person event, and then a 600 person event. All I wanted to do was 'help out in an office situation a few hours a week' and hope she understood. She said she did and that she was really sorry it didn't work out as she appreciated everything I had done and my suggestions.

I’m not feeling very proud of myself right now but I had to be true to myself even if it meant letting someone else down. Maybe if it wasn't attached to volunteering in a fundraising capacity I wouldn't feel so lousy.

Have you ever done that? Let someone down by staying true to your self?

With friendship