Wednesday, 26 March 2014
Busted! Who? ME? No. WHO? You?
I was raised not to open other people's mail.
You collect the mail and leave it in a prominent position where they can see it when they come home and you leave them to open it in privacy.
Sounds old fashioned, and it might be, but that's how I was raised, and how we are raising MissM. Even when there's snail mail for her, we don't open it. We give it to her, and allow her space to open it in in private, and then she can choose to share with us what's inside.
G seldom opens mail, even tho 98% of the snail mail is for him - what I should say is addressed to him. It's just something as an expat wife you get used to. THEY have the job, THEY get a different visa status, THEY get the mail.
It's one of a handful of tiny weeny things he does that annoy me. Every so often, I remind him there's a build up of mail, and offer to open it and sort it out for him (my clairvoyant in Sydney told me I'd be 'like an administrative assistant or private secretary to my future husband' so I'm cool with this role). I stack things in their neat little piles, sometimes attach post-it-notes with questions on them and file the rest.
One such piece of mail arrived a few weeks ago, addressed to G. It was a plain enough envelope, with a Dublin return address printed on the top left hand corner. But it looked official.
He didn't open it (or several other pieces) for a week or so.
I texted him to ask if I could, as he hadn't and he said sure.
My heart started to race.
OMG - BUSTED.
I have to make this disappear.
What a waste of money.
A speeding ticket!
I saw the street and time and thought OMG I've been busted speeding on the way to school.
I've never had a speeding ticket before - E-V-E-R!
Great, I can pay it in cash at the Post Office.
I filled in form, grabbed some cash and went to the PO on my way to collect MissM from school.
The woman at the PO took the form and my debit card and started to process the payment. Phew, thought - G will be none the wiser. Now, there'd be no bother if G knew, and I'd probably end up telling him at some point, but OMG a speeding ticket! He's always banging on at me to slow down.
OH OH! The 'system' wouldn't accept the details or payment as I wasn't G and the fine was in his name.
I had to confess my sins and get him to go to the Garda (police) and have them reissue the fine in my name.
After dinner that night, I gingerly told him my story to which he started to roar with laughter. Now, those of you who know G know he doesn't often roar with laughter, but trust me he did.
It was HIS FINE!
He'd been busted on the way back from a meeting in the city ..... he'd been to the Garda because he's on his Australian liscence.
BUSTED! He, Mr Oh-So-Careful-Driver, Seldom-speeds-driver got busted for speeding. While I, daughter of a racing driver, Ms Speedy did not.
He then asked me why I was feeling so guilty .... GUILTY? ME?????????
Yes - the fine was addressed to him. Why did I think it was mine?
Because it was it was a week day at 2.43pm and i was probably running late for pick up. Because so little of anything is in my name these days, that I thought the car was in yours, afterall his car is a company car so anything like that would go to him c/ work (wouldn't it?). I prattled on for a few minutes and his laughter got louder and louder so I stopped.
What's so funny I asked?
YOU! You are! he said with a huge smile.
There you were, running around town, with cash and a completed form ready to pay your way to a free conscious (mind you, he did want to know how long I thought I could hold out not telling him) and it was my fine all along.
He's right - I would have confessed. I always do (not that I do that much wrong LOL)
But the funniest thing of all is HE GOT BUSTED, not me.