A New School Year Is About To Begin

WOW! May 30 seems like only a few weeks ago. Back then, we had 3 months of summer holidays ahead of us and now, we've only a 7 sleeps left til the new school year starts.

How did you fare these summer holidays?

You ready to 'go back to school'?


MissM is ready to go back. She misses her friends and teachers and freely admits to 'enjoying school' which is what every parent loves to hear. A teacher-friend once told me, a child who enjoys school is half way 'there'!

I am ready for her to go back too in some ways, but not others. I'm happy for her to be back with friends, and enjoying school; happy to have 'my' time back to do the things I want to do, but not looking forward to early starts, trying to create healthy school lunches every day and worst of all, the thought of homework already has a stress ache in my neck and shoulders.

Deep breathes.

This year will be different.

It HAS to be. We're both a year older, wiser, settled.

Even tho she's only just turned 10, this is MissM's 5th education system starting with Montessori in Dublin, Reggio Emilia and PYP (Primary Years Program) in Yokohama (with two unplanned stints in school in Sydney), followed by an independent school in Winchester, and now the Irish system.

G went to two schools, as did I. We started and finished elementary/junior school on the same campus then we went to High School (middle/senior college).

Our two schools (to the age of 18) vs MissM's FIVE schools - and she's only 10, not even half way thru her education!

While it's no excuse, it's a damn good reason she is sometimes confused, frustrated, unsure of the academic side of school - when it comes to ballet, singing, piano, drama there's no problems as each one evolves based on her ability/RAD assessment/LAMDA exams etc.

You'd think school reports would be helpful too. Right? WRONG! They are merely a guide from one school to another, if they even bother to read them.

Now we are ALL experienced in many schools from curriculum, to philosophies on education, to welcoming new families, community spirit, offering guidance and support to students, we've come to believe that school should be about exploration, creativity, lateral thinking, problem solving, fun, nurturing, friendships, not just working towards a test or exam to show the teachers you've learnt what they taught. Have you watched any of Sir Ken Robinsons TEDtalks on education? If not, you must!

You'd think moving from one to another would be fairly easy, especially for a child in elementary (aka primary) school. Right? WRONG.

Maths is maths - not really. There are several ways to do long division, or long addition and once you know one way, and someone comes along and says we do it THIS way, without having the maturity to know there's more than one way to do somethings, it's very frustrating for everyone.

Even spelling has it's pitfalls - one system teaches phonetics only while another is learnt by lists of words each week to drill. Both reckon they are the best way to teach a child to spell and maybe they are.

And handwriting! OMG. Some systems focus on printing and encouraging the children to earn their 'pen certificate' while others go straight to cursive or others are on MacBooks.

Some give no homework; others give weekly projects on a Monday due on Thursday while others give 40-60 minutes per night. There might be weekly tests (maths, spelling are the hot ones), or pop quizzes; or more formal 'end of term papers' to be completed in record time.

Text books and work books vs working online with MacBooks.

You'd think these issues would confront in middle (high school) but not if you're an expat kid.

Several people here are home schooling their kids for various reasons. You can only imagine my admiration for them! It would take a very special parent/child relationship to do this and keep the parent/ child relationship going.

MissM's teacher last year said he loved having her in his class. He was surprised at the things she knew and her attitudes for a (then) 9 year old, but at the same time he was surprised at what she didn't know and should for her age. She was ahead of her peers in some things, and behind in others. Fortunately they had to resources to help her with these gaps.

That kinda sums up MissM very well indeed.

We've just got the class lists for this school year and we're all very excited with her teacher.  She tutored MissM last year so knows her well. MissM is very happy to have her too!

Let's hope a second, happy year at the same school will help MissM consolidate everything she's experienced these past few years, and that I learn to settle down too.

With friendship
x

My G

Have you ever seen a TedTalk talk?

I was introduced to them when we were in Yokohama at a parent/teacher night when the guest presenter showed a TedTalk on education. Can't recall the speaker, but I was hooked on TedTalks!

I have been following them ever since and love sharing them every chance I get.

There's a TedTalks facebook page that's worth liking, as it keeps you updated. You can also subscribe to Tedtalks directly at this link. When you subscribe, you can create a profile and select the topics you are most interested in so that the relevant talks are sent to you in a weekly newsletter.

The first TedTalk was in 1984 bit it didn't work. But the guys didn't give up and the first TedConference in California six years later was a huge success and well, the rest is history.

I download my TedTalks to my phone and listen/watch them at the gym. The hour or so goes so much faster!

Some days, when I'm watching them online on the laptop several hours can easily pass, so beware!

Every now and then, a talk resonates deeply and I am compelled to share it. Sir Ken Robinsons always do. He is my Education Hero.

This TedTalk on sleep by Adrianna Huffington is great fun, and very insightful. While I wished I had Dan Meyer as my maths teacher. Shane Koyczan bought me to tears. I've learn about the human brain, mental illness, education, cool science stuff that I'm not usually into amongst many other subjects.

Susan Cain's talk on introverts was one of those rare talks that really touched me. It wasn't that I simply really enjoyed it. What she said was so powerful, so real and raw that it inspired me - to do what I'm not sure yet, but it has. It's in the back of my mind still.

It's that good,  it's had over 7 million views.

I suggested to G, that he might listen to it.

What happened next has hit me so deeply in my heart'n'soul that I want to shout out to the world what an incredible man I'm married to (see, there's the extrovert again) and how damn lucky I am that despite everything, we are happily together as man and wife, parents to MissM and best friends.

This is what my very private husband shared on his FB page (see, even that's a huge leap for him, he has a FB page)

For those of you that know me, you think I am just quiet ...

I am an introvert. I am an introvert and I am successful. 

Whilst my own modesty does not have me shouting off rooftops, giving charismatic podium speeches, or even collecting countless awards; in my own introverted way I lead and inspire people to do the unachievable.

My talents may be overlooked an go unnoticed by some due to the lack of exuberance and self promotion. Nonetheless, my achievements are clear and evident for all those to bare witness. An introvert, able to lead and inspire others to achieve the unachievable.  

An introvert, influencing a broad and diverse base of individuals to come together and change the way the world communicates. Whilst you may not notice me standing out from the crowd, I am there. I am the crowd. An individual in the crowd. An individual that is respected by the crowd, not preaching to it, but able to shape and guide the crowd in a common direction; a common message; a common goal.

I take time. I reflect. I process. I digest. I comprehend. I think before I speak. I have an ability to see through the myriad of confusion and noise and find a path; a path to lead others to a collective future. 

I am a leader. I am successful. And I am an introvert.

You can only imagine the tears that flowed (I was in the supermarket at the time) as I read this honest, self appraisal of someone who sounds angry at the way some people might judge him, tho so comfortable in his own skin.

We met at work.

I have always seen the quieter side of his personality and at times it's damn annoying. Most of the time it's his quiet, reliable, steady character that keeps me safe and grounded. When everything in my life is going pear shaped, he's the one to get me back on track. He's held me tight while I've balled on several occasions.

His Linkedin page is overflowing with the most amazing testimonials.

Like Susan Cain, he's very content just to be; and he has taught me how to just be, even tho I've still yet to master it, I'm a lot better than I used to be (believe it or not).

The extrovert in me shouts his accomplishments to anyone who'll listen. Not many wives do that I know, but we are expats only because of his career, and when good things happen, it's worth reminding people why we do what we do. If we were 'home' we'd share good news, right? OK, maybe not. 

Susan Cains TedTalk has helped me understand G, and all the introverts I come across just that little bit better, and G's comments confirmed what an amazing man he is.

I think, after 14 years together, I will finally let go of the notion that one day he'll come willingly to a large social function, or that we'll dance the night away together. 

I have happily accepted and learned to love quiet dinner parties with a small group of friends, where conversation and connecting is the glue to the evening. That spending time chilling at home is a welcome chance to regroup, and doesn't mean we are boring.

We've learnt a lot from each other over the 14 years we've been together; we've compromised a lot too in the early years as we learnt to navigate our differences, but thru it all we've loved and respected each others differences and allowed them to be our mutual strength.

They say opposites attract, and we most certainly do.

With friendship

x

M's a Busy Bee

It's tough being a kid these days. Or is it simply tough being MissM?

I have been thinking about this a lot these past few weeks, as MissM struggles more and more with homework, and goes to bed willingly at 7.45pm during the week, and is harder to wake each morning.

Cries of 'I'm tired' are heard a lot more often.

Maybe this is normal as kids grow up. I'm sure it is.

Is it?

Are your kids shattered in the mornings?

ms-havachat's been developing this chat for a while now, trying to work things out in her head before rambling here. In fact, this is my 4th attempt. The previous 3 were very cathartic and had me in tears. They were very quickly deleted. There are times when I think I'm a crap mum, and others when maybe I'm doing OK.

Do you ever question your parenting skills? Or the manner in which you deal with things? Guess it's natural we all do at some point or other. G's working hours haven't improved and I still haven't got single parenting down.

Anyways, amongst all that other crap, is me thinking OMG, MissM's such a BUSY BEE, no wonder she's exhausted. However, weekends are fun, and she's still up for a get together with friends.

Someone had a link to this guy, Matt Walsh on FB a few weeks ago and I really enjoyed his writing so I subscribed. His recent blog,  'Easy? No. Kids today do not have it easy' resonated with me loud'n'clear. It helped me understand a lot, tho still left me wondering.

What do you think of Matt's blog?


So, school days are shorter; 8.40am - 3pm (UK was 8.20am - 4.10pm). It seems our school also has longer holidays than others in Ireland. Daylight hours are shorter and shorter (we are awake at 6.30am and it's pitch black already)

After school activities are all done at school, which is great as it allows M time to get to know other kids apart from the 15 in her class (and I'm not driving all over town).

School offers 32 extra curricular activities a week - that's just the junior school. From hockey, rugby, swimming to chess club, knitting corner, book club, cooking, Lego and more. Some are run by teachers while others are taught by specialists who are brought in.

MissM's extra curricular stuff allows her to continue her singing lessons and drama club. She's still home by 4.20pm at the very latest, which isn't that late, is it? She not only loves these two activities, she's really good at them! G suggested she should stop them and focus on academic stuff, but my argument is she enjoys them and she's good at them - and academic isn't everything at 9 years of age.

We send our kids to school to learn new things, to socialise (and there's a whole lotta learning going on there!), to try stuff, to discover their talents, to be exposed to things they may not be otherwise exposed to and so on. It's not all about the books tho here, as in the UK (and I'm sure elsewhere in the world) school seems to be focused on test results ...... rather than kids being the best they can be; it's what you scored and where you rank.

In addition to coping as an expat kid amongst locals, tho there are lots of expats at school which is great, MissM's LEARNING a whole lotta stuff all at once and she's such a BUSY BEE, that it might be too much for her.

Am I being too soft? Surely your kids are doing similar? Are they coping? How tired are they? Do they snap and have attitude (oh yeah, puberty is next to deal with).

MissM and her school mates choose to learn either French (her choice) or Spanish, plus they have to do Irish - imagine, learning two languages at once plus of course, they are all still mastering English. If English isn't your mother tongue, you are exempt from Irish, which makes sense.

All school age kids in Ireland have to learn Irish. The reason given is that it is the national language and hardly anyone can speak it, so to help revive it, all public signage (street names, road signs etc) are produced in English and Irish. There's two Irish TV stations, and a couple of radio stations, newspapers and magazines, but really not much at all unless you go searching for it.

She's joined the drama club which she says is great fun, and enjoys meeting older kids (it's only offered to years 3-6). Not sure she'll even step foot on a stage, but that doesn't matter.

Oh how she loves her singing lessons! And her teachers again tell us how good she is. As a result, she along with 3 friends have been invited to join the school choir (rehearsals mid week during the school day)

With a choice of violin or cello, clever MissM chose violin and according to her music teacher 'is a natural'.

Desperate to continue ballet, I lazily put her name down for it as an after school activity thinking it'll do til we find a friend who is very happy at their dance school and change. However, her teacher is a RAD examiner and owns a very well respected and popular dance school. There are only 6 kids in the class, so it's as close to private lessons as you could get!

Her teachers has a 40 minute rule for homework. If the child's given it 'their very best attention for 40 minutes' let them be. It's very subjective, isn't it? If MissM's giving it her 'very best attention' she can be at it for upwards of an hour, or more! If we stuck to the 40 minute rule, she'd fiddle and diddle and then go, time's up, oh well.

Moving countries means moving education systems and it's tough.

Apparently MrsA in UK taught math very differently to MrP here.

One school teaches spelling phonetically .... one doesn't.

MadamP in UK sang a lot of French whereas the teacher here talks a lot which makes a huge difference to understanding. MissM's offered to teach them the few songs she knows to 'help them'

We stay positive for her, and say that no one can ever take away what's inside your brain, your experiences, emotions, knowledge is all YOU. Sometimes things are done differently, but you use your references to make the 'new' stuff work. Maybe she's just a bit too young to know this yet. I have to rely on friends who have raised several kids across several countries and who attended/graduated colleges and uni's all over the world as well adjusted happy healthy motivated young adults.

Add to the arts side of her academic subjects and she's a very BUSY BEE indeed - too busy? I'm starting to wonder.

MrsP and I have talked for years about how busy some kids are, and how there's a time and place for chilling out and PLAYING! Kids need to PLAY and be themselves with out the pressures. Just google 'are kids too busy' and see what comes up! Here's one of several articles that make sense, tho what are we, as parents doing about it?

There are lots of people who make sense to me .... Sir Ken Robinson in particular is a very interesting, clever, motivating and resourcful speaker. Listen to him on TedTalks. He often helps me put things back into perspective. In fact, I'm going to make a coffee and listen to him now.

MissM's busy after school a few days a week because the alternative is to come home and hang out on her own, which is fine after a busy day at school with lots going on, but she's like G and unwinds infront of the TV which is so annoying (and probably none of my business). I imagine if there were sibling's they'd be off playing or in the yard, or squabbling.

I'm wondering aloud here, is MissM too busy? If she is, what do we drop? If we drop it, what does she do, or indeed, is sitting at home chilling out how ever she sees fit OK?

I'm confident she'll be fine - they all are in the end, aren't they?

With friendship
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